Questions
by atemumana
Summary: Spoilers for 67 & 68. Yuuki questions Kaname's words and actions after the tragedy in Hanadagi's castle. ONESHOT.


Inspired by chapter 67 and 68.

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_It is better if you do not know anything, Yuuki._

_**Sometimes...**_

I didn't understand why I often let someone else made the choice while I did the actions; never asking why even though I am partially against it and even if I am, I never asked why in the first place. I am the follower who always followed the flow, doing things without questions while 'they' were the leaders who were always ahead of me, ordering and doing things without telling others what exactly 'they' were doing. I am lost; lost in so many things around me.

I didn't understand.

Kaname...

What were you thinking...? What were you doing...? What's exactly inside your heart...?

I couldn't read what's inside of you, you know. I am not telepathic. Honestly, I'm not sure if I even want that ability.

What were you hiding from me...? Why were you pushing me away...? Please, stop shutting me away from your life...!

_**Sometimes...**_

I thought I know you but it turned out, I didn't really know you. I couldn't possibly know you when you kept on pushing me away. Your name, I knew. Your past, I knew. What's inside your heart? I didn't know. Your thoughts, I didn't know. Your plans, I didn't know. Your objective, I didn't know. How could I...?

Secrets were not the issue here. I've lied to you before. You've lied to me before. Both of us lied to one another for our own purposes. I didn't care what happened in the past... I wanted us to start over and you agreed with my ideas. I thought everything would go as what we planned, I thought it would be like that! You said if I am a good girl, you would come back to me and drink my blood and do things together. Was that true...? Was that a shameful lie...?

_**But...**_

How long were you going to keep me away from you...? Am I truly nothing to you...? Am I completely useless to you...?

Why did you kill Lord Aidou...?

Why did you hurt Aidou-senpai's feelings...?

Why did you do it in front of us...?

The Aidou family has always been loyal to the Kuran family since ages ago; to you especially, Kaname. I didn't understand why you killed Lord Aidou. What did he do to enrage you to that point? Why did you steal away the important person in Aidou-senpai's life...? You killed his father... His father... His father...!

But why now...? What happened...? Why did you change...?

Why did you often do things by yourself...? Why couldn't you ask for my help...? Or anyone else...? Why must you shoulder the burden yourself...?

If I am weak, do not leave me behind! If I am weak, make me strong! I couldn't do it on my own. I needed help. I needed guidance. I needed you.

You didn't give me anything. You left me behind.

How long were you going to protect me...? How long were you going to hide from my sight?

You gave your promise. You broke them.

_**I didn't understand.**_

Father* didn't allow me to search for you even if I fought with him...

He said, "He's a dangerous vampire! He's Kaname but he's no longer the Kaname we know!"

Kaname...

"Is that true...? You are no longer the one I know...? You are no longer the kind..." I couldn't continue.

Kind...?

Kind...

You were never kind...

_**Sometimes...**_

I wondered if you did all of this because you knew it would happen...?

I was taken to the headquarters of the Hunters Association. You, as my fiancé has been declared dangerous by the Hunters Association, while I, as your fiancée, has no choice but to be taken captive by them. What did I know about your plans when you didn't even bother to tell me...? But then...

"What is Kuran Kaname planning to do...?" Yagari-sensei's stern voice asked.

"I didn't know. He never tell me."

"You are lying." He wasn't quite convinced; I'm sure he wasn't convinced when Aidou-senpai was interrogated by them before.

"I'm not. I know you won't trust me but this is the truth. I didn't know what he was planning. He didn't want me to know."

"He said it was better if I didn't know anything."

_**Sometimes...**_

Not knowing things might be the best option after all.

It didn't justify yours though, Kaname.

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**end.**

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**A/N:** SO MANY WHYs! I didn't plan on writing this although I did plan something like this! I have an upcoming story, Fragments. It's about Kaname's childhood with the hooded woman and a number of the Pureblood vampires in the ancestral past. It's a oneshots collection, like Miss Lily and Miss Rosie. It will also contain the alternate ending to Daybreak as the opening chapter. Do look forward to it!

Unbeta'd. If anyone wishes to beta my future stories, don't hesitate to PM me! Read, enjoy and review!

*Refers to Cross Kaien. In chapter 68's translation, Yuuki called him father.


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